The Power of (Toxic) Positivity
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Philippians 4:4
“Just stay positive.” “Good vibes only.” “Everything happens for a reason.”
Is your life poisoned with toxic positivity? Our culture today puts great value on always maintaining a positive attitude. And I mean always. It’s an attitude that says no matter what happens in your life, good or bad, you’ve got to put on a happy face.
So, even if you cry in the darkness, when the camera’s on you, you’ve got to be smiling. Otherwise, people won’t want to be around you. You’ll harsh their good vibes too much.
Do you see the problem?
Do you see the problem this creates for Christians?
Paul says in Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” It’s a beautiful reminder of the hope outside of ourselves we have in Christ Jesus. It gets twisted into a hope inside of ourselves.
If you aren’t rejoicing in the Lord always, does that make you a bad Christian? It’s easy to read this verse and think, “If I’m not experiencing pure joy in my life at all times, even through hard times, God's blessing isn’t on me.”
Here’s the rub. No one—not even Christians—experience pure joy in their lives at all times. But because we set up this idea that Christians should always be positive thinkers, we feel we have to hide the negative parts of our lives. “Just put on a happy face.”
And it’s often not enough to just hide negative experiences. We feel we have to highlight—even exaggerate—positive experiences. Social media certainly hasn’t helped in this regard.
Deep down we feel as though positivity proves God's love for us. We think, “God wants me to happy. Therefore, I should be happy.” And if I want others to know God's great love, they have to see how happy his love makes me.
Always.
What a burden! This isn’t what God wants. Toxic positivity can only lead to a warped sense of reality, to sweeping life’s problems under the rug, and to unbearable feelings of guilt and shame when you negative experiences rightly cause you negative feelings.
Toxic positivity harms our neighbor, too. “Good vibes only” literally means, “Don’t bring your problems to me.” Toxic positivity calls into question our neighbor’s faith when they can’t hide their pain anymore. Toxic positivity creates inauthentic relationships because no one reveals their true self. This isn’t what God wants.
What God wants is for us to rejoice. Be careful. Rejoicing isn’t the same as feeling joy. Paul doesn’t say, “Don’t worry. Be happy.” He says, “Rejoice.” Joy is a feeling. Rejoice is an action. You can do the latter without having the former.
Rejoicing ultimately stems from what Paul mentions a few verses later. “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). Jesus told his disciples, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives” (John 14:27).
Jesus’ peace is different from the world’s peace. Paul explains it in Romans 5, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
The cause of our rejoicing is ultimately our salvation from the negative experiences we deal with. We have the hope of the glory of God. Our sufferings now produce perseverance which leads to character which leads to hope. This may not produce a feeling of joy within us. It may not immediately put a smile on our faces. But it does allow us to rejoice, that is, to boast in the hope we have, that no negative experience or negative feeling can keep us away from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Then we may better “carry each other’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2). Now, rather than sharing positive platitudes, we may “comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:4). We “rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15), understanding that this earthly life has both negative experiences because of our ongoing struggle with sin and positive experiences which come from our Father above.
So, let there be no doubt. Forced positivity often sours into toxicity. Positivity that seeks its source in us changing our mindsets, “choosing to be happy,” hiding all bad vibes will always poison the well. We don’t believe in the power of positive thinking. Rather, we rejoice in the Lord because he has promised us hope in Jesus.